So, I'm almost a week away until I leave for Dublin and I'm getting to the point where I'm becoming excited but also dealing with a little anxiety. I suppose that's normal for anyone making a journey away from home to start a different chapter in your life. It's just this journey I'm on, yes, it's only three months, but that's three months away from contact I've known all my life (family and friends) and these past three and a half years at IU Bloomington.I've been spending time at my father's in Pittsburgh as part of my annual see-him-during-the-summer-before-school trip, and I've had a few things here give me an insight of my journey is going to be something spectacular as well as scary. I had a night to myself to think on life and what was ahead of me. I prayed to God to give me strength through this night and to give me guidance as well in the coming weeks. In a way, I felt he gave me it and that's made me enjoy this time while Dublin is approaching.
I have a few times been thinking of how this is coming so fast and yet so slowly... In a way, I'm cherishing it because this next week is gonna be a little hard for me to deal with. I mean, I know I'll be back and I've done this before with school, but I feel there's been a shift this summer between my family life and my friends. It's made me realize how much connection I've lost with them while I'm away, but yet how much it's still there when I'm back.
It scares me a bit that this will most definitely happen after school and when I go to live my life wherever it takes me. I don't really want to lose connection like I have been experiencing in my thoughts. In the past, I used to be friends with a lot of people, but over the past few years, there's been a mutual lack of keeping up together. I know that happens with a lot of people, but I still don't like it. A few people I've lost contact with hurts more than others, and a couple others I'm glad to lose. I've realized above all things, I'm done with drama. My life doesn't have it, so why do I need to deal with others'? And mostly, it's been good.
Of course, there's a lot of other things I want out of life. Mainly, I want to finish school and live somewhere where I have a good job that I love to do. After that, I want to have a relationship that makes me feel alive that is reciprocal and real. I want to meet someone that completes me and I them. I hope God has that someone placed out there for me down the road within the next 5 years. I know I have my whole life still, but having a starter person wouldn't be that bad either. And I know I shouldn't place my thoughts in hoping on a movie related instance, such as P.S. I Love You and Made of Honor, but a boy can dream can't he?
Anyway, I plan on this trip to be a step up for myself. A step in the right direction to be an even bigger independent person and to learn that the world is an adventure. One that I plan to document and enjoy, which is why I made this blog. A way for me to vent, loving and/or hating, but I figure that this will be a plus all the way. I plan on taking a ton of pictures and updating as much as I can.
As for my program and classes, I'm taking this fall semester in Dublin with IES Abroad. It has been a wonderful sounding program, but I still have my little insecurities that I feel will be better once I'm there and go through orientation. A friend of mine, Jenn (from IU), had been a part of the program over this summer and has been my little insider. Overall, she reassures me it may be nerve racking, but I'll be fine and I feel pretty good on her word. I'll be taking four classes in the Gaiety Acting School, Acting, Movement, Voice, and Devising (like Directing, I assume). As well, I will take one class in Trinity College (or possibly the Dublin University) of Contemporary Irish Drama. I am extremely excited about these most of all.
As for my living arrangements, IES has put us in Wyckham Place Apartments, which is from what I can tell a rather nice apartment that I probably couldn't afford normally. When I get a chance I will make sure to take pictures of the living area there to see how true these statements about the apartments truly are.But overall, I'm still trying to tell myself that this will be something to look forward to, and something I will look back on as a great decision. Even though loans and financial aid instances and have been constantly an issue. Even if I have to deal with possibly graduating a little later, but still in my original Grad year in August.
For now, I hope I leave you all with some knowing of this journey I'm about to embark on. I plan to enjoy my time with classes, but also possibly some travel and sight seeing as well, and if possible trying to get souvenirs for family and friends. So, if any thing catches your eye or crosses your mind while I'm there, let me know and I'll try to bring you back something.
Christopher K.
